I’m stuck in the middle with Bob Marley singing “Could you be loved?”

I miss working with kids on Valentine's Day, it's way more fun.


A 5^th grader told me last year: “Have you ever heard the song “Fireworks” by Katy Perry Mal? I swear that song can cure depression.”

Another 5^th grader was in shock when I told her I wasn’t married “But Mal YOU’RE OLD and you’re lying to everyone in the world because you have a ring on!”

I would even receive left over valentines that the kids didn’t want because “Gross Jimmy” gave it to her or “Suzy has cooties.”

There would also be a sweet craft project that usually involved a lot of glitter, red hearts and we could use the Mr. Sketch pack of markers because it was a special day.

Youth have a brilliant and blunt way of saying things. They are honest and truthful. I admire that about them. So here are some messages and reminders from a younger me. My Valentines note to myself (that I’m sharing with you.):

I used to wait around the radio when I was in 5^th grade all day with a cassette tape in ready to press record when Macy Grays “I try to walk away” song came on.*Remember to be patient

On New Year’s Eve 2005 I wrote myself this note:  “Dear me, once you start focusing on what’s important things will start to get better. Dwell on the good, let the bad go. Remember to breathe, relax, and listen to Neil Young. ” (I must have really been into Neil at this time haha)

In 8^th grade some friends & I made up an elaborate dance routine to “I will survive” and we wore glitter shirts with metal hoops around our necks and preformed it in front of our whole grade. *Try new things, don't be afraid

In 5^th grade I traveled to Florida with my soccer team and I wrote my Will (should this be capitalized? Is this how you spell it?) on the plane on the way there because I thought that if the plane crashed someone would retrieve it. Some things on the Will included things like: Justin Timberlake is my favorite *Nsync member, Papoose Pond is where I want to be buried, Soccer is awesome and I love my cousins. *All of this is still true. (Ok, maybe not at Papoose Pond….well, maybe!)

On September 9^th 2011 I wrote: “People with dancing heads on the T, I want to bob my head with you, too” I also wrote on that same day “ Chinese language being spoken to the left of me, Spanish spoken to my right, I’m stuck in the middle with Bob Marley singing “Could you be loved?” * I secretly wish you could join in with anyone who is dancing or singing and it would be perfectly acceptable in society. I also wish I knew how to speak Chinese, Spanish and kept learning more Sign Language, maybe I will someday? *Set goals. 

In 5^th grade I asked my teacher if I could build a fort in the back of the room to do work there, she said yes. I brought in sheets and used those extra big books as walls and created the most magnificent work area. *My mom has always told me “If you don’t ask, it’s a no.” I live by this.

I wrote this note on January 2, 2007: I like: people who sing out loud & whistle, sitting in the camper listening to the rain hit the canvas, walking at night in the summer, smiling at strangers, running in the woods. *Remember to look at the view young lady, look at the view.

In 5^th grade I still had art, gym and music class. I miss these classes. Today if I could I would take an hour to make Valentines for all my friends with glitter and special markers and stickers! I would run my 3 miles outside in the daylight and not on a treadmill at night. I would tone it down after my run and listen to Paul Simon while lying in bed just closing my eyes. *Remember to take time to do things you used to love doing, make time for yourself.

In 5^th grade a teacher told me I was stupid. I will never forget that day. I believed him for a long time. Remember to think before you say things to people: especially to youth. *Don’t use words carelessly they can never be retrieved.

 On May 5^th, 2008 I wrote myself this note:  “Today was the first time in a long time I was able to sleep in and I had every intention to do that until Cody woke me up. (Cody was my dog) This was a special treat considering Cody never steps foot into my room. So we went downstairs and made tea and Cody and I sat on the porch just watching as the world around us woke up. Birds chirping, insects buzzing and the faint sound of cars moving. I felt at peace.” *Remember to appreciate being happy.

I will leave you with this:

Sitting around the campfire with my family is my favorite thing to do. Last summer my aunt asked “What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you” as a prompt for everyone. This is the story I shared:

I was in middle school, maybe 8th grade. I played soccer night and day, it was my thing, I loved it. My team was awesome, we were in our prime. We had braces, were into boy bands and on the brink of entering High School, yikes! 

^{One morning I realized I was running  late so I jumped out of bed and into my sweatpant warm ups, right where I had left them after my game the night before. I jumped into the car and I was on my way.}

I got to the indoor facility and pulled off my sweatpants and started practicing with everyone. We were most likely bumping some Nelly “Country Grammar” when the ref blew the whistle and the game was about to start. We all grabbed our stuff and threw it over the edge and the game was on.

 I was into it: moving, weaving, kicking….until the whistle blew again. We all looked at the ref; he was walking towards something on the field… THEY WERE UNDIES. Oh my god…. THEY.. WERE.. MY.. UNDIES. See what happened was: when I got home from my night game and jumped out of my sweats and into the shower….my undies were stuck in the sweatpants. GREAT GRAND WONDERFUL! Oh my god, I was MORTIFIED! The place was erupting with laughter – I HAD to play along! “HAHAHAHAH EWWW” The ref had to walk over with a plastic bag scoop them up and throw them into the trash. No one admitted to them being theirs. It wasn’t until years later that I admitted to this deed. Yes, those were my undies on the soccer field, yes, yes they were. *The most wasted of all days is one without laughter

Always remember: "You're never too old to become younger" and you can learn something from talking to youth. Listen to their perspectives and try to remember what yours used to be....they might help you now.