When in doubt, give them “the hand”

I have to confess something. I wrote and shared a story at a talent show that I never posted here. (Yes, I was in a talent show, don’t look surprised.)  But now seems like a fitting time to share it…since, well, last night at the gym, I had an encounter with one of my bullies.

How do I know it was him, well, he started running sideways on the treadmill next to me. He was not so tough without his sidekick and he wasn’t wearing his sweat suit. (Maybe that's his bullying costume?) I promise this will all make more sense once I catch you up.....

Let’s rewind several months ago. This is a story I don’t like to share…..for obvious reasons. But for you, okay, fine.  

I was tag team bullied at the gym. Yes, this happened.

It all happened so fast. Here’s what I remember:

I finally got on a treadmill after having to wait a good 15 minutes.

 The first two miles were smooth sailing. Good pace. Breathing was good - I didn’t even need my inhaler. (That’s a huge success.) Everything was going great, I was bumping some TLC and I was almost done, one more mile.

 I was looking forward to going home, kicking my feet up, catching up on some TV and eating the rest of the Dove candies I had placed in the freezer before I left. (Eating candy after the gym is fine right, it cancels out?) It was going to be a superb night.  I might even start the second Hunger Games book. The possibilities were endless.

Then the two treadmills beside each side of me opened up and my visions of Dove chocolates and The Hunger Games disappeared. This is when I met my two bullies. Two guys, most likely high school aged wearing blue and grey sweat suits with their hoods pulled shut (how can you see?) jumped on both sides of me.

I actually liked them at first because I really respect people who wear sweat suits, primarily because I also like to wear sweat suits.

But as they started their treadmills everything changed.

They were mocking me. Straight up: Running at the same exact speed at the same time. At first I thought I was paranoid. So I tested my theory by increasing my speed up one. On demand they pressed their speeds up one. I saw their lips moving so I lowered my volume to hear what they were saying ….

“Oh you’re gunna speed up now, huh?”

OH MY GOD…..

“Is this REALLY happening to me?”I thought.....

I felt just like Kevin in Home Alone before his badass attitude kicked in.

 I was being bullied. I mean, don’t get me wrong, middle school was 100% hell for me too, just like everyone else, but I haven’t felt this way in a long time.

I love sarcasm, I love messing with people, but when it’s good in nature and the person doesn’t feel victimized. This was different. It was blatantly obvious they were just waiting for me to break.  

I could not even look at these guys; I focused my eyes forward and just pushed through it. Then one of the guys turned his body to the side so he was facing me and started running sideways while he was punching the air? (Like what the hell are you doing?) The other guy was also lifting his arms and “whooping” the guy on. They were making a scene. I hated it.

At this point I was just disgusted with them and uncomfortable. I stopped my treadmill, lifted my right fist and I punched navy sweat suit square in the face. Blood was everywhere and then I yelled “NOT IN MY HOUSE!” while I hit my chest like a gorilla.

Just kidding. I wish I had the guts to do that. I did the only thing I could think of: I gave both of them “the hand.” I know you might not remember it….it was REALLY BIG back in the day: you know when you swivel your hand and put it in someone’s face to say: “AS IF!” That’s what I did. Ok, bad example. I bet you are envisioning me as a girl in Clueless. No, No, No it was more of a POWERFUL hand, it was STEADY and STRONG and I just yelled: “STOP!” I was like Kimberly the Pink Ranger.

(If you are a male and you feel uncomfortable trying to be Kimberly, you can follow this guys lead)

They got the message and everyone looked at them. They stopped their treadmills and got off.  Move along.  You do not deserve to wear those sweat suits!

I wish I had punched them or tackled them and put treadmill burns on their faces with my initials. (Too much?) Yes that’s too much.

Lessons learned, thoughts:

When in doubt, give them “the hand” (pretend you are Kimberly, not a girl in Clueless) I’m seriously amazed it still works.

Yelling “STOP!” made everyone look over to the situation, it was very effective.

Do not be deceived by sweat suits, not everyone wearing one is nice.

Be kind everyone. Be kind to one another.