There was a time in my life when wearing a cape was a normal, standard behavior.
In fact, I was known to some people as “one of the cape girls.” (That is not a Cape Cod reference; I'm talking a legit cape, like what Count Dracula wears.)
I did not wear my cape alone, EVER. I only wore it when my dear friend Tiff (aka the other cape girl) also wore hers.
What did these capes look like? How could this not be the creepiest thing you’ve ever heard of?
- Mine was lime green with psychedelic 70’s pink and orange flowers all over it. I also wrote “GO CSU” (Colorado State University – our college) on the back with a thick permanent black marker.
- Tiff’s was also green; it resembled a seaweed type of material. (As I recall this was a part of your mermaid costume circa Halloween’10??)
We didn’t wear creepy capes. They were friendly and we were not creepy people. In fact, Tiff and I made the capes into a fashion statement, a "fun maker" and their presence turned into an accidental social experiment.....
Why the capes were A HIT:
- Wearing a cape out to the bars was like an instant awesome people sifter. What I mean is, the people who would come hang out with us or express their like for our cape-ness were pretty amazing people. The people who made fun of us were assholes. Without those capes we could have ended up talking to an asshole without knowing it until hours into the conversation, but with these capes - it was a no-brainer, a huge time saver.
- We had friends who saw the capes in action and wanted in. Naturally, we made them capes too.
- People would be genuinely disappointed if Tiff and I showed up to a party without our capes on.
- We rode our bikes everywhere in Colorado. E-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e. Have you ever ridden a bike with A CAPE ON? It’s how you’re supposed to ride your bike. If you're into instant gratification and you're having a bad day, make yourself a cape, hop on your bike and I swear you will begin to smile. It's a lot like skipping: you can't help but start grinning when you do it, even though you might look silly. It must be the same type of phenomenon people experience when they go sky diving, it's that good. All I can say is: you have to try it.
- Instant convo starter. I’m all about convo starters. As many of you know, I have often expressed interest in receiving a black eye just so people can ask me “where did you get that black eye!?” Just like that black eye, it’s hard to ignore two girls walking around in capes. “Why are you wearing capes?” OH YEAH BABY, SWEET VICTORY, INSTANT CONVO STARTER.
- Similar to riding your bike, dancing with a cape is a great feeling. It’s like the cheaper version of a “twirly dress.”
- Ladies, guys will buy you free drinks because you have a cape on. I don’t know why. But it happens
The only downfall to these capes:
I must warn you that sometimes the assholes I mentioned earlier will indeed, be assholes. You should just give them the swift “suck-it” and move along.
There was this one incident with my cape:
It was a summer night in beautiful Colorado. Tiff and I were getting ready for a night of "cape fun". We draped them over our backs, jumped on our bikes and headed to a party with some friends.
It was your standard party set up, ruit in the garage, people inside mingling, whispering sweet nothings to each other. Tiff and I were around the ruit table waiting for our turn. I decided to duck under the almost closed garage door to get some fresh air. (We had been dancing to Stevie Wonder inside for a long time before this. I was sweating.)
I went to duck under the garage door when all of a sudden: this KID (asshole) pushed the button for the garage door. Yes, the door was closing in on my hunched over body. So I did what anyone else would do: I tried to barrel roll under the closing door. Mid-barrel roll I realized my cape wasn’t going to make it, so I did what anyone else would do: I pretended I was Indiana Jones in "Raiders of the Lost Ark” and snatched my cape up right before the garage slammed shut. It was intense….and I was talked about. “Oh yeah, are you talking about that girl with the cape that escaped the garage door…. ?”
Overall: Let this post be a reminder not to stereotype capes under the creepy category.
UNLESS: You are a Dragon wearing a cape.
A Dragon (by my definition): Someone who wears all black, slicks their hair back with gel and wears chains all over their body. If you are a girl Dragon, you might wear white make-up and red lipstick.
In this case, if a Dragon wears a cape, then it is, indeed, creepy.
I am personally afraid of Dragons.
Also: Be very weary of people who wear capes in the front instead of the back. That is straight up bizarre behavior and you should avoid people who do this at all costs.
Side note: When I hear Bruce Springsteen singing “Glory Days” I picture Tiff and I riding our bikes with our capes flapping in the wind.
